Advice on Respecting Yourself the Way You Deserve to be

Reset your internal monologue. If you have ever watched the TV show, Scrubs, J.D. is a classic example of how much we talk to ourselves and how skewed our version is to the world outside of our heads-it's all relative. Keep in mind this is a "sitcom version" sitcoms are funny, many people have dark and miserable perceptions about themselves, and their life. This is where the default setting to our lives is.

You may or may not realize it is happening, if you do realize it- can you change it? Short answer, yes. You are what you ___ (fill in the blank) many people may say you are what you eat, in this case, you are what you think. "I am tired, I am broke, I am pissed." Being mindful of what is happening, rephrase. "I am energized, I am wealthy, I am grateful." One last nugget here "I am beautiful/handsome." Pay attention, and the next time you notice yourself down on yourself, perhaps tomorrow morning before you get out of bed, change it up.

Visualize your making of a choice. If we have a default setting that results in say, a reaction (most reactions being over reactions, snappy, unfiltered, unhelpful to the situation, often escalating issues of life, or simply feeding the negative wolf that may feel good at the time but worsens your overall state of being). We've all been there. I picture a long V in the road (my mental road that is) and I see myself veering right. The right side, is my responsive (not reactive) Reneé, purposeful Reneé, consciously making a decision (not sarcastic, or negative, Reneé). Here I am able to say within my internal monologue, "what is my goal here? What will saying, or doing X do?" Will it improve or worsen the situation, if not the situation, my state of being? Will I be distressed afterwards? Even when it comes to choosing a meal. Unhealthy choice on left, healthy choice toward the right. Reminding myself, that it is a choice. Choose love, choose kindness, respect, choose what aligns with your values, again this is for yourself. Your approach to those around you will radiate from this place.

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Your reaction to what happens in your life dictates what happens next.

Reactions are powerful creators because they contain every element needed to manifest- they're a combination of thought, belief and feeling in action. Positive reactions create more positive things, and negative reactions create more negative things. If you can respond to negative situations calmly ad lightly, instead of with emotional turbulence, what happens next in your life will be so much better.

-author unknown to me, this phrase is hanging above my desk.